Random Jokes

 Sometimes being partially blind has it's advantages: something's you want to see,
 then there are something's that are just too disturbing to see.

You also know if you're  blind if your left in the shadows all the time. Then again I'm used to it.

Some people are like cell phones; you press a button and they get mad & you say one thing
they get turned off completely.

Weathermen aren't psychic, no matter how hard they try to predict the changes in the forecast.

You know your a little too big when you try to tie your shoes and you break your back.

Scorpios aren't better than Virgos or anyone else. Just Capricorns.

I've seen celebrities when they're messed up. Now that's real entertainment.

The closest that I can get to a rave is with binoculars.

Tall people are easy to look up to. All you need is a ladder.

My friend is so cool that he took remedial classes at Cucumber college & then went on to graduate from Igloo University.

I heard about away to lose weight one thing to do is to write a letter to the foods that you like. Mine went like this:

Dear Food

I just thought that I'd let you know that we had our time together but sadly it's not you it's me.
I'm afraid that I'll have to distance myself away from your vibrant aroma  but to make
a long story short we should see other people. love you as a friend though.

P.S.: COME BACK!

Some people have a license for being ugly while most people own a degree in stupidity.

Too much TV is bad for you case in point I can still remember those old Skip it commercials.